When speaking to a group of small business owners last week I was reminded of how much struggle and frustration people experience at work. I began the workshop by asking people to describe their experiences of groups that they work in.

They used words like “no communication, competition, backbiting, lack of leadership, mediocrity, frustration, disappointment” for struggling groups. The costs from this are high – results suffer because people withdraw, not sharing ideas, not getting a sense of accomplishment. And they talked about how they take that stress home; these negative experiences affect our families and our health.

Yet, when I asked about their experiences of successful groups, people use words like “open communication, efficiency, cooperation, camaraderie, momentum, great results, and fulfillment.”

I’m betting you can relate to both of these kinds of experiences. I know I can. Yet, if we know what success looks like, why don’t we achieve that more often? Why so much suffering?

Struggle Doesn’t Mean You’re a Failure. I believe it’s because we aren’t always sure what to do to create success – in all situations – consistently and reliably.

Mostly we’re doing our best with good intentions, but without a road map or the proper tools for making it work. We hope that other “good” people come together with good intentions and that it will all work well. All we have to rely on is what we’ve learned – and whatever others bring from their own experience. Sometimes that is fine. We have that success described above. But more often, it’s not enough.

We’re inevitably going to run up against occasional conflicts between our personal preferences and desires and those of others. That’s life right? It can be difficult enough when we are with people we love. But when we are thrown together with people we barely know in high-stakes situations such as at work, it can be a real ordeal. Especially when differences in backgrounds and styles are substantial.

My own struggle led me to search for the formula for creating successful work systems. And now that I’ve studied this question for thirty years I’m quite sure that we can create high-quality relationships while producing great results in the world. It’s not just a matter of chance or of particular personalities who happen to be in the group.

It’s a matter of context – the culture in the group. That’s where the permission, or acceptance, or tolerance of behavior comes from. That’s where the agreements, standards and expectations for how people will act and treat others come from. The quiet suffering that so many people go through at work is a symptom of the lack of open communication and intentionality in creating the group and its culture – together.

The key is to learn about what works to bridge the gap between differences in backgrounds, perspectives and personal styles.

• Try new approaches to holding meetings, solving problems, making decisions, and talking about what really matters. Engage with each other more intentionally – take a bit of time to create the habits that keep communication open – even when it’s touchy.
• Take some time to create routine ways to keep inspiring each other with what you want to create in the world.
• Establish routines for assessing what is working and what is not so that you all get to recreate how best to achieve the goals that you all have committed to.

Keep learning and exploring. Whatever approach you choose to help you to create more intentional relationships in your work, you can rest assured that your efforts will be rewarded.

There is untapped wisdom and talent in every group. I know this because it is a fact that the power of group is emergent. It grows as the communication and accomplishments grow. You can grab a hold of that potential when you set the quality of your group as a priority. You will be able to accomplish more than you had imagined possible, and you will have a great experience doing it.

Cheers to enjoying more camaraderie, momentum, great results, and fulfillment.

The staff meeting began with the senior vice president saying “Someone has to be held accountable for this mess. What the hell happened?” I could feel everyone in the room shrink back. The room was very quiet for a long moment. The tone of the manager’s question made it clear that he was looking for someone to blame. I knew that he had been in a very tense meeting with the board of directors the evening before. He had described it to me as feeling “grilled” and he was not happy about it.

I cringed in that moment because I could see the damage that was being done to the group and I saw the power of accountability slipping away. I don’t think this manager meant for that to happen, but he appeared to be at a loss for how to get at accountability without confusing it with blame.

Some version of this story happens often in groups. It’s understandable – most of us have these intertwined – but it undermines the power of the group effort. A couple of key distinctions can begin to transform how accountability works in your group.

Accountability is not blame.
Accountability is simply an agreement to answer, or to “account,” for our actions. This means we are reporting accurately what we did and what the effects were.

This is far from the notion of blame. The word blame actually derives from old Latin (blasphemere) that includes “reproach” and “revile.” I think its easy to say that these sentiments will hardly improve performance; rather they will halt progress in a flash.

If an accounting indicates that someone didn’t do what she said she would do, then its a problem of integrity or commitment. Some people do not care about acting responsibly. If that is the case, then they need to go. But that’s not usually what happens. Most people are doing the best they can to do the right thing and still sometimes things don’t work out. Those are the situations where we need powerful accountability.

Accountability is about learning.
Blame causes people to hide or avoid the truth and then learning stops. Removing blame, even when something goes wrong or differently than expected creates open and honest communication for true organizational learning to occur. You can assess what worked, what didn’t work, and how to improve. You can make valuable course corrections that make the difference between success and failure.

The Formula

Accountability and the personal integrity that it requires are easier to sustain when you have the elements of group alchemy in place. If you are struggling with accountability it might actually be inspiration or agreements that need attention.

Check your inspiration:
If you haven’t had that conversation about the inspiration for your group or partnership that makes your shared goals explicit then inspiration is the place to start. It is commitment to our inspiration that invites us to be deeply honest about how we are doing. 

Check your agreements:
Remember that explicit agreements are the key to working together.  We are accountable for what we have committed or agreed to. Are your agreements specific with accountability measures built in so that everyone is  operating from the same understanding?

Get rid of blame.
It’s easy to look for someone to blame when we are frustrated or angry that something didn’t go the way we expected. In fact, research indicates that it’s the brain’s automatic reaction when something goes wrong. But we don’t have to be stuck there. If you want more accountability in your group, your business, or your partnership, start by learning to recognize blame and move into learning.

Take the time to acknowledge your disappointment, frustration, anger – whatever the feelings are.

Then get curious. What happened?  Was the plan clear? Did someone misunderstand? Did you have the right resources? Did you have clear agreements in place?

When you do these things you will create shared ownership for results in your group and accountability will be embraced as a way to achieve the excellence and success that everyone wants.

Thanks for joining us! This is the place for people who want to work in more productive and satisfying groups. We will be exploring all topics related to powerful groups and look forward to building a community of people who are working on new ways of working and leading together.
Please share your experiences – what works and what doesn’t – so we all can learn from you. Wishing you group alchemy.